Hello everyone! I wanted to post a little heartfelt post today, just to explain what it going on with my life at the moment, and more importantly, my blog. It's always important in my opinion to inform your readers on changes with your blog, physically or emotionally - I find it to be therapy in a way.
My posts lately have been crap. I haven't enjoyed writing them and I feel like I have just been posting 'quantity over quality' if I am honest. There is so much pressure to make my blog all I want it to be and provide content for you guys as well as keeping up my school work and social life. This is a problem many bloggers have when it comes to maintaining their online presence, and I am really in a blogging rut at the moment. The ideas aren't flowing, I hate my photography and I just feel unmotivated to write or do anything.
I love my blog to pieces, in fact I would go as far to say it is one of the best decisions I have made in my life as a hobby and interest - and I love everything about the blogging atmosphere. I am always loving new blogs to read and enjoy catching up on, and each of you that take the time to comment on my posts make my little heart go all fuzzy inside.
Something I never realised when I started my GCSE's was just how much is expected of you. KS3 was a breeze, and I loved every moment of it. Now, in KS4 the pressure has just upped it's game and come down with a bang on my shoulders. I'm not concerned about my grades, I work hard in my lessons and the results do pay off in assessments and exams. I'm not concerned with school life, I try to be nice to everyone, and in turn I do consider myself as popular and well liked by everyone in my school. What I am concerned about however, is the emotional stress I feel at the moment.
Blogging is my outlet, the place I can be myself and let the words flow out of me. Go back a few months, I was coming home from school and logging onto my blog and writing new posts for the week ahead - and I felt happy and organised. Flash forward to now, I have got myself stuck in a rut where I get home from school, have a snack, watch some T.V and start doing revision or homework for school. The change that has happened really gets to me, and makes me sad that I almost don't have enough time in a day to blog as well as everything else.
This post is my stream of consciousness, where I am just writing down anything that occurs to me when typing. It might not make sense, it could be a load of rubbish, but it's helping me think clearer so I'm going to carry on. I think what I am trying to get across to you reading is that I feel a bit overwhelmed with everything at the moment, and I don't think I will be able to get posts up exactly on my scheduled days. Some people could say to give up my schedule, but I would prefer to keep it in place to motivate me to blog more and continue my hobby.
I don't want to force myself to blog, as I have been lately, because that just makes me resent writing. I just wanted to say in short that if I don't post on a posting day for a a few days, I'm not giving up blogging, I'm not abandoning anyone, I just can't fit writing my blog and school work at the same time. I'm not writing this post out of pity, I just feel really bad and guilty that I haven't posted in a while and maybe after reading this post you can get some idea how I am feeling.
I'm your typical teenager who complains and overthinks things and doesn't share deep thoughts with many people, so this is just my way of letting the stress out. Please ignore this if you couldn't care less, I don't mind! I just need to post this for myself and hopefully I will get my life organised soon! This weekend I would love to take some photographs and plan posts for the next couple of weeks and take a step back and enjoy blogging again and balance the school life too but we will see how it goes. Thank you for being here, wherever and whoever you are, you all mean a lot to me and basically know more about my current mindset than some of the people I know in real life!
See you in my next post,